5 ways to look great in photos
How to Get Ready for a Portrait Session
Posing for portraits is a skill not everybody has but Anyone can learn!
In fifteen years as a New Orleans Portrait Photographer, I’ve heard “I hate having my photo taken” more times than I can count. I also hear “I’m super uncomfortable in front of the camera” and “I hate my arms” and “this is my bad side” and “I have a wonky eye” and any number of other self-deprecating things.
When I show a client the back of my camera and watch their face drop followed by “it’s not you, it’s a beautiful photo, I just hate the way I look” it breaks my GD heart.
If you talk to yourself this way, you’re not alone.
Also, knock it off.
We have all been conditioned to be our own worst critics. It makes us self-conscious in front of other people and makes a camera our worst enemy. When we look at pictures of ourselves, we often search for flaws and pick ourselves apart. It could be an absolutely gorgeous photo of us on the happiest day of our lives and all we can see is that part of our upper arm we don’t like.
Do you think anyone who loves us is looking at that photo and seeing a fat arm? Hell no! They see their beautiful friend in a gorgeous photo living their best life.
And that’s what you should see, too: your beautiful self in a gorgeous photo living your best life. Because you’re beautiful and I don’t care what you have to say about it. So THERE.
But seriously- how do you combat self-criticism and gear up to have your photo taken? Here are a few tips from someone who has not only met people like you many times before but is also a person like you.
Lie to yourself
If you have a major life event coming up and you are about to drop a wad of dough on a photographer, I highly recommend you start lying to yourself NOW.
Stop telling yourself that you hate having your photo taken. Tell yourself that you love it. Tell yourself that you are looking forward to the experience and that you look amazing in photos. Tell yourself that being photographed with the person you love is the best feeling in the world and you can’t wait to see your love captured in a stunning photograph.
You control the narrative in your head. Change your self-talk and eventually you will start believing it. Every time you think a negative thought about your upcoming photography session flip that ish on its head and replace it with a positive one. (protip: this works for all sorts of things, not just how we feel about pictures of ourselves! Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.)
2. Start learning the skill of posing
Being photogenic is a skill. Let me repeat that: looking good in a photo is a SKILL.
The “flawless” instagram models you see didn’t come out of the womb that gorgeous. They came into the world red and shriveled and screaming just like the rest of us.
Then somewhere along the way, they dedicated a considerable amount of time learning how to look badass in a photo. They watched youtube videos on how to pose, they learned how to use editing software to change their bone structure, they perfected makeup techniques, and they took eleven milliondy photos of themselves and scrutinized the ever living heck out of each one until they found ONE they deemed perfect enough for instagram.
That’s right. Even “models” hate the way they look in photos.
The good news is they didn’t have to join some secret hot people club to have access to those resources. All they did was google “how to pose for photos”.
There are loads of youtube videos on how to pose for photographs. There are many that focus on posing for couples as well. Watch them. Watch them all. Some of them are geared towards photographers but that’s fine, watch them anyway. Then try out what you learned!
Stand in front of a full-length mirror and put into practice the techniques discussed in each video. Celebrate each little win and repeat, repeat, repeat. Build that muscle memory so on your big day you can slide effortlessly into a bomb ass pose without even thinking about it.
And don’t you DARE criticize yourself. I mean it. Would you criticize a kid learning how to ride a bike? No, you’d encourage them. So encourage yourself. Posing is a difficult skill to learn. But look at you learning it! Go you!
3. Practice with a friend
For many people, the first time they’ve ever hired a professional photographer is for their wedding. But we’ve all had photos taken by friends. After learning some posing skills via youtube, call up one of your trusted buddies (preferably one with some shutterbug skills who isn’t afraid to be real with you) to take photos of you with your phone.
Try to rely less on “angles” (we all know the camera-way-over-the-head-so-I’m-basically-just-a-floating-face trick) and lean more on posing (also lean more. Leaning is hot. Get your lean on!)
Your photographer isn’t going to stand directly above you and photograph just your face (well, maybe they will but that’s weird as hell). So don’t do that while practicing!
Keep in mind that different lenses make our bodies look different ways (when people say ‘the camera adds ten pounds’ that’s what they are talking about). The way you look on your iphone is not going to be the way you look in your wedding/proposal/engagement photos. BUT if you get to a place where you can confidently snap into a pose that makes you feel like the beautiful bad bitch/butch/boy that you are, then you need not worry about what lens your photographer uses (unless the pull out a fish eye. Slap that shit out of their hands). You’re gonna look fly as hell no matter what.
4. Wear clothes that flatter-not hide-your figure
It’s not just the camera that can add ten pounds- it’s also poorly fitted clothing. I think people have the natural tendency to try to cover up the parts of their body they don’t like.
For me? It’s the back of my upper thighs. If I see anything less than 4” inseam on a pair of shorts, forget about it.
It’s also the muffin top I get when I wear mid-rise shorts. You know what doesn’t look good? A big, baggy shirt over those mid-rise shorts to hide that muffin top. You know what looks great? Some high-waisted shorts with a button down shirt tied into a crop.
And I can hear you screaming at your phone right now “b*tch, you’re skinny! You don’t know how hard it is to find clothes!” In some ways yes, you’re absolutely right. I know that the fashion industry is not geared towards people who have actual fcuking shapes. But even though I have a petite, recently-athletic frame, I still struggle to find clothes that flatter my figure. Because I am not a sample size and I very much have shapes (cue Apple Bottom Jeans).
I tried on 8 pairs of shorts in 2 stores the other day and did a whole lot of WTFing in the dressing rooms before leaving with nothing. Cuz shit ain’t made for me either. I honestly don’t know who it is made for. But it ain’t me.
That being said, fashion has come a LONG way in body positivity and inclusivity. There are a ton of brands that are designed specifically for not-skinny people (and loads of blog posts written by not-skinny people who discuss dressing to flatter your figure no matter the shape).
Invest in some wardrobe pieces that make you feel and look amazing no matter what your figure. Not just for your photos but also for your everyday life. Make sure that you are wearing the clothes instead of letting the clothes wear you.
When you move through the world more confident in how you look you’ll easily move in front of a camera with confidence, too.
5. Hire a photographer who knows how to pose
If you read on a photographer’s website “I just let people do their own thing and capture what happens”: run. Run very far very fast.
Sure, you want a photographer who is great at capturing moments for your wedding day. But you also want a photographer who knows how to pose you for your portraits. Because even a person who meets the (BS) societal standard of beauty can look awful in a bad pose.
Take a look at photographer portfolios and notice how people in the photos look. Do they appear stiff or uncomfortable? Are there a lot of awkward or unflattering poses? Or do they look effortlessly gorgeous and in love? A portfolio should look like a hall of fame not a hall of mirrors. Scrutinize that ish the same way you (USED TO) scrutinize pictures of yourself.
Experience matters. Unless they’re some sort of posing prodigy, a fledgling photographer isn’t going to be as good at posing as someone with a years under their belt. Learning to pose people is a skill that takes practice the same way that learning to pose is a skill that takes practice. It takes working with tons of different couples of all different shapes to learn how to move bodies in ways that look killer in a photo.
Talk to photographers you are interested in and ask them what their approach to posing is. Pick someone who is confident in their skills and has the body of work to back it up.
Then after you find the right pro for you, let them know what your insecurities are and if there are any special considerations you’d like them to take when posing you. A true professional won’t bat an eye at such a request, will make sure you are comfortable during your photo session, and will deliver images you’ll love.
WHEW! That was a long one! I clearly feel very passionately about this topic. As a person who scrutinizes and faceapps her own selfies, I understand that the struggle is REAL. Don’t wait until you are in front of your New Orleans Professional Portrait Photographer’s camera to do something about it. Start now and head into your big day knowing you’re going to rock the hell out of your photos.